grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
