I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
