Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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