guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
