I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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