real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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