yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
