I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
