There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
