i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's never too late to be topless.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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