True but thats because hes a fetus.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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