I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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