Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
