She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
