So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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