How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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