i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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