Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
