Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
