I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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