C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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