Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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