So drunk its hurt
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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