Define "chronic" masturbator.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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