puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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