she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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