But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
