bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
