I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
