If that was your dad, he is hot
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
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