So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
