just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They have beer where we have blood.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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