I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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