I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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