Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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