I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
