my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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