im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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