You're so nebulous sometimes
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You made out with two different species that night
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
