Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
