Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
