I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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