What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
