nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
