ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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