I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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