i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
