Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
