We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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