I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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