i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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