have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
